How to Have Unstoppable Self-Confidence
Why do only a few people wear the confidence cape, while others act like they’re not entitled to wear it, let alone showcase it?
For many, trading jitters for self-control and low self-esteem for feeling confident is a far cry from how they feel inside. But they don’t realize that low self-confidence holds their potential hostage while spotlighting weak spots they think define them better.
Below, we’ll explore if confidence is truly a skill and discuss efficient ways to practice and embody it.
The Role Childhood Plays
Childhood experiences are a make or break when it comes to self-esteem. Children are very susceptible and have very little control over their emotions, so it's easy to fall into the ‘not good enough’ trap. Say a parent gets caught up in a fight with their child and provides harsh criticism; the child absorbs it because they are convinced that the parent meant it. In time, the idea lingers in their head, and they listen to it on repeat.
Suppose the child is brought up in a poor environment where they experience shortages and neglect. In that case, they will most likely believe they don't deserve much because they will label themselves as unworthy. No wonder most children get to the point where they embrace that negative belief, making it their self-fulfilling prophecy.
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Negative social interactions, such as bullying, are critical in sculpting a child's sense of self-worth. The bully's power can come from their physical appearance, economic status, or level of popularity. Bullying automatically places the bully on a pedestal and the victim on the lowest self-worth scale. Bullies are less likely to target confident people, as their perfect victims must embody low-self worth, which is a fertile ground for planting the seeds of bullying. The best anti-bullying antidote is being mindful of its existence, building high self-esteem, and bolstering one's qualities. |
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As well as this, if a child is subject to traumatic experiences, they can develop fear, shame, and guilt. Children who go through trauma are more likely to evolve into unconfident beings because their first reaction is to blame themselves for attracting the traumatic experience. Unresolved trauma can haunt a child throughout adulthood, and finding ways to address it is crucial.
Switching from criticism to praise is the best way to avoid a child developing the not enough syndrome. Recognition can provide incredible results, and because children are so gullible, they will accept pats on the back without questioning their worth. Sprinkling compliments now and then will massively elevate their self-worth.
The Impact of Adolescence
Adolescence is the pinnacle of defining someone’s sense of self. Even for a child who has a happy childhood, adolescence can be challenging. And that’s because adolescence is the bridge between childhood and adulthood, and teenagers must adjust to their new bodies. They often don’t acknowledge that their body is still developing, and they set impossible standards to achieve. This turns out to be challenging for many, as most teenagers are dissatisfied with how their bodies look.
It’s vital to ensure that adolescents have inspiring role models who don’t just sell the illusion of a perfect body or a perfect life. They should focus on normalizing vulnerability, showing that life has ups and downs, and avoiding romanticizing perfection at all costs.
Most People Suffer From Low Self-Esteem
While they may not necessarily show it, most people suffer from low self-esteem. When self-esteem is low and not addressed, it can disintegrate someone’s sense of self. It can convince people that they’re not good enough and keep them away from shining their true light. Everyone is born with confidence, but most people don’t leverage it and get stuck in limiting beliefs of unworthiness. Some adults are so used to this lack of self-belief and unworthiness that they even feel inadequate when they receive compliments because they’re not used to praise.
While childhood and adolescence mold one’s personality and self-image, the self-esteem struggle doesn’t end during adulthood. Perhaps the most piercing truth is that people will never outsmart their own opinions of themselves. No matter how accomplished someone is, their self-esteem can be easily shattered. Most adults are still children at heart and carry the not-good-enough stigma. Every time an event happens that threatens their self-image, childhood memories show up and sting. It can get in the way of living a fulfilled life, making friends, asking for a raise, or leaving a toxic relationship.
Seven Principles to Having Unstoppable Self-Confidence
It is possible to magnify your self-worth and achieve unstoppable self-confidence. It’s all based on the relationship you have with yourself. Make sure you set yourself up for success by following these seven principles.
- Identify your strengths
A great way to keep your strengths on your radar is to ask the closest people around you to provide feedback. It’s interesting to go through this process because others always see us in a different light than the one we imagine. While you may perceive yourself as boring, others might see you as disciplined. Paying attention to feedback is helpful, primarily if you can’t assess your qualities properly.
You can also create your list of qualities based on challenging experiences from your past. These experiences typically demonstrate grit, perseverance, resilience, compassion, etc. So, think of past events filled with obstacles and what dealing with them led to. It’s a beautiful way to honor your struggles and extract valuable insights about yourself.
- Question negative thoughts
We’re often responsible for sentencing ourselves to low self-belief because of the negative thoughts in our heads. It’s easy to get caught in the negativity cobweb and assume things about ourselves that aren’t accurate just because of a dialogue we unconsciously entertain. If we keep repeating the same self-deprecating ideas repeatedly, they will become part of our daily dialogue.
The best way to be in charge of your thoughts is to ask yourself if you’re confusing a thought for an actual fact. This question will immediately provide clarity and will help you differentiate an idea randomly popping up in your mind from a set-in-stone fact. By being open to this possibility, you remove the importance of whatever crosses your mind and are flexible about the outcome. But most importantly, you free yourself from adopting a belief that’s not real.
- Say yes to new experiences
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Saying yes to new experiences can give you an edge and help you see the bigger picture. Suppose you always subscribe to the same activities. In that case, you’ll always get the same results, and your opinion about yourself won’t be challenged because of the comfort automatic behaviors provide. Repetition is positive when learning behaviors, but if you’re willing to build up your confidence, the comfort area is the last you want to inhabit. New experiences can reveal facets of yourself you weren’t aware you owned. Sometimes, a favorable outcome won’t emerge immediately, and you’ll probably tread an unknown path to discover what you’re made of, which won’t always be easy. But it’s well worth the trouble to achieve new results. |
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Any new experience helps you get a better taste of life because the brain finds itself in a unique position and has to develop new solutions to best support you in your endeavors. Experiencing a situation in real-time instead of intellectually thinking of solutions is a great way to practice creative problem-solving. You’ll also understand your identity better when you try new things. This will lead to a more powerful connection with yourself, welcoming self-respect and self-appreciation.
- Define your non-negotiables
Defining your non-negotiables will immediately take you out of the role of being a people-pleaser. It’s essential to pinpoint your boundaries and stay true to them. Every time you engage in an activity you don’t feel drawn to, but you do it anyway, just for other people’s sake, it takes a toll on your self-esteem. If you value others’ opinions more than yours, the message you send is that your time, ideas, energy, and attention focus are not relevant. What will happen next? Others will follow suit, seeing it as permission to overstep your boundaries.
Strengthening boundaries is the antidote to people-pleasing. Put your needs first, regardless of the fear of letting others down. It shows people how you want to be treated and what’s acceptable.
Working on your boundaries will keep you from stress and burnout and improve your self-esteem. Articulating how you feel without fearing what others think is an injection of high self-esteem. Now you can make decisions independently and not disintegrate whenever someone needs your help but are oblivious to your boundaries.
- Challenge your perceived flaws
We all have a perceived image of ourselves, but is that image genuinely accurate? Often, we get caught up in our heads, believing that if we don't show up perfectly, we host many weaknesses. The truth is, we won't be at our best all the time, but it doesn't mean we're flawed. If we acquire the belief that our weaknesses define us, we'll allow them to weaken us. It's helpful to remind yourself that you're human and errors are part of our existence. Our blindspots don't have to prevent us from believing in ourselves. If anything, we should identify them and devise ideas to counteract them.
How can you turn a weakness into an advantage? Identifying your weak spot is the stepping stone to exploring it deeply and, ultimately, harmonizing it. Finding role models who exude the qualities we wish to embody can provide inspiration and determination to make them ours. If you lack confidence, envision yourself acting as a confident person you admire. How does that person act? What made you think they are confident in the first place? Exploring how you can integrate that attitude into your behavior will help you connect with your self-worth.
- Set goals to prove to yourself you can achieve them
Confidence comes when you honor the promises you make yourself. If these promises are goals you complete, you prove to yourself that you can stretch. Goals should be bold and defy your comfort zone to push you to grow. If a goal is not scary, it means it’s easy to achieve and it won’t challenge your abilities in any way. Setting and achieving goals allows you to discover new ways of thinking and acting. Every new skill and piece of knowledge you acquire when pursuing your dream will bolster your self-confidence.
Core values are crucial in supporting your growth, and sometimes we are challenged to examine our values when treading a new path. Also, not romanticizing perfection will put us at ease about who we are. Striving for perfection is a confidence zapper because perfection is unattainable, and it will always force us to set impossible standards. Pursuing goals outside our comfort zone but not impossible will provide the evidence we need that we’re capable. And when we go after the next destination, we already have a solid foundation based on the previous evidence. Adopting this mindset when achieving goals will exponentially increase our confidence.
- Soak up in self-love
Self-love is an ongoing practice. You can’t just love yourself today. It’s a connection you will cultivate for the rest of your life. And the beauty of it resides in the fact that you’ll prioritize the most important relationship in your life: the one with yourself. A strong bedrock of self-love is rejection-proof. We know that if people feel rejected, they feel irrelevant, leading to unworthiness. A way to become rejection-proof is to protect how you perceive yourself.
Loving yourself has nothing to do with vanity and everything to do with mental well-being. Imagine living in a house plagued with insects. How long will you be able to put up with those living conditions? Very little, most probably. The same happens when you’re not satisfied with how you are. You won’t be able to live with yourself peacefully. So, don’t be the one to reject yourself because others will perceive it, too. Instead, champion yourself, regardless of how the past unfolded. It’s your chance to reward yourself with self-love and be kind and compassionate toward your being. Something unexpected will happen: you’ll develop a more meaningful and loving connection with yourself.
Achieve Rockstar Confidence
Rockstar confidence is available to you, no matter how you feel. I’ve helped many people pick themselves up from the floor because low self-esteem got a hold of them and tricked them into believing that the only way to achieve confidence is to be born with it. My hypnotic audio, Rockstar Confidence, will speak to your subconscious mind in a way that will feel natural and help it absorb empowering suggestions about yourself. Leave low self-esteem behind and start acting more confident from the first time you listen to it!
I’ve made it my life’s mission to make peace of mind and the ability to reach your potential available to everyone
- and that includes you!
Here’s to true freedom, happiness and health! - Jamie Clarke