Why should you love yourself? As cheesy as it may sound, loving yourself is the first step toward achieving anything you want. Perhaps the most honest question you can ask yourself is: if you don’t love yourself, how can you expect others to love you?

In this article, we dive deep into ways to be kinder to yourself to ultimately achieve true self-love - the most nurturing type of love you can experience.

The Importance of Self-Love

To many, self-love is a given. They believe that as long as they exist, self-love is granted. Most people never assess how much they love themselves. Because if they did, they would realize a harsh truth: some don’t even love themselves. And this happens because they’re not familiar with what this implies. 

But self-love is more than essential to living a harmonious life. It’s mandatory for our well-being. Self-love is the seed that gives birth to our dreams. And it’s the nourishment that supports us in achieving them.

Self-love is the springboard toward accepting and appreciating ourselves for what we are, no matter how fit we are for society’s standards. Self-love means going against the current when it is necessary. It means developing an unwavering conviction that our inner being can’t be compared to frivolous standards. 

Our inner being is already gifted with everything we need to achieve a happy life. But to access these gifts, we need to start being literate in our heart’s language.

Loving ourselves connects us to our inner wisdom because there is no lack or scarcity. It’s a reservoir full of love that waits to touch all areas of our life and take them to the next level.

Self-Love Should Be Non-Negotiable

Self-love is very similar to self-belief. If you believe in yourself, everyone else will believe in you. 

Unfortunately, self-love and self-belief are the two main areas where people sabotage themselves. First of all, they don't acknowledge the importance of loving themselves. And when the foundation inside is weak, it's easy to allow disempowering emotions to rule over our behaviors. If we allow the negative dialogue to persist, we start to agree more with it because there is no self-belief to back us and protect us against the damage of negative thinking, leading to poor self-image.

Self-love tends to be misinterpreted. While most people might think that self-love has to do with how great we are or celebrating our success, it goes deeper than that. It's about our understanding and cultivating a fruitful relationship with ourselves. Developing a profound connection with our inner wisdom and creating a shatter-proof bond. We should always be there for ourselves from a place of unconditional love.

It's feeling comfortable in our skin, no matter what size clothes we wear. No matter how many imperfections society points at us or our families' expectations. We should always measure ourselves only against our internal standards, not against what society might dictate. This is the power we bask in when we're in charge of our inner compass and holding tight to it.

Self-love creates a reservoir of strength we can always access to nourish ourselves. When we find everything we need inside, we don't look for sugar-coated objects or feelings outside. We know we can count on ourselves. It's being able to be unshakable inside, conquer adversities and bounce back stronger. It's about making mistakes and not condemning ourselves for them but learning from them. Because deep inside, we know no effort is in vain. We know that growth is cumulative. We always win, even if it's just through a lesson learned.

Self-Love and Core Values

Values play a definitive role in our relationships with ourselves. If we are clear on our core values, the love we channel inward and outward is not influenced by factors that may ruin our balance. This way, we don’t allow negative external forces to call the shots and take a toll on our peace of mind. Below, we’ll explore some of the most important values that self-love highlights.

Positivity

Developing a healthy relationship with yourself implies nourishing your mind with kind words that breed positivity. It’s paying attention to how you feel and what words you allow to populate your mind. To ensure you stay true to yourself and aligned with your values, you have to say no to what’s detrimental to your mental well-being. Instead, try changing the dialogue to a positive one. In the beginning, it may feel weird if you’re not used to saying loving words to yourself. But if you practice this type of dialogue consistently, you’ll be surprised by the positive shifts you will notice inside.

Listening to yourself is key to preserving your values. Our intuition can be very vocal and point to the next right step for us. Suppose we’ve honed the skill of listening to ourselves well enough. In that case, we can take advantage and act congruently with our intuition.

Authenticity

One of the most empowering results loving ourselves provides is accessing our authentic selves. Acting with integrity and aligning with our internal benchmarks are the glue that keeps us connected to our hearts. When we press pause on everything else surrounding us and turn our attention inward, we're rewarded with the gift of authenticity. Because now, you have access to your true nature. It can be revealed when you access the deepest chambers of your being. You are not afraid to remove the unnecessary bits and shut down the inner critic. Those parts, such as judgment, shame, guilt, and any other negative layer, don't do you justice.

Being authentic means not betraying yourself. It means staying true to your essence to reinforce the connection with yourself. It also means defining your non-negotiables because others will do it for you if you don't and you may not like the result. No one can trespass on your boundaries when you're clear. And there's no room left for second-guessing. 

Keeping your word is another vital element that will help you be in harmony with yourself. Every time you make a promise to yourself and don't keep it, the message you send to your inner being is that you don't value how you feel inside or that your values are irrelevant.

Self-love generates authenticity and empowers us to make the right decisions and ultimately feel good about them, regardless if they don't produce the outcome we expect. People who lack self-love deal with decision paralysis because they never trust themselves enough. They never hone that internal communication. Because if they did, they would already have all the answers they need.

Self-Confidence

When self-love reaches a high level, people around us can sense that. There's something particular about the aura we ooze, and people who don't know us may label us as happy and confident.

 

We tend to trust people we meet when we perceive them as confident. But in reality, it's not their confidence that attracts us. It's how comfortable they feel in their shoes. They accept themselves for their uniqueness instead of trying to stifle it to accommodate others. And this is just one of the effects of self-love.

Peace

Self-love provides mental peace and the feeling that we are at peace with ourselves, which is priceless. When we achieve this high level of inner serenity, we tackle life through a completely different lens. Everything changes, the way we perceive the world, our environment, and everyone else in it. We don’t feel hurt by others because we know that others can hurt us only if we allow them, which we don’t. We cultivate relationships that are genuine and inspire our growth.

Self-Respect

When a relationship is built on respect, you know it will last. Self-respect opens the door to compassion, kindness, and more respect for others.

Self-love is a great way to practice relationships with others. When you have self-love, you don’t crave someone else’s love. We may feel compelled to force things when a romantic relationship reaches a dead end or when feelings are not mutual. But when self-love is strong, it always prevails. 

This loving attitude will help you attract different forms of external love that match your heart and repel low-frequency relationships. When this happens, self-respect echoes and fortifies our feeling of worthiness.

Why a Lack of Self-Love Is Dangerous

People who lack self-love are more prone to sabotaging their lives in many ways. Through poor decision-making, people-pleasing, fear of rejection, and low standards, it’s like they’re willing to surround themselves with anything that’s not worthy of them. They would rather love others than themselves. When the levels of self-love are low, we feel the lack. We then shower others with love, expecting an equal exchange. But people can tell when this happens and will probably take advantage of it. If you start a relationship with no love for yourself, don’t expect it to expand in time because of your new partner.

 

When we think of our strengths, we barely name self-love. But it should be at the top of the list. Everything good in our lives stems from self-love. This means the other side of the coin is true: a lack of self-love becomes our biggest weakness.

The Difference Between Self-Love and Material Love 

There’s a vast distinction between loving material possessions more than yourself. Accomplishments will always set you apart and generate more love. Material possessions will make you feel good but won’t increase self-love. The difference between any objects you acquire and the inner feeling of love is that, no matter what happens, your love for yourself will be there to nourish you. You may lose your belongings unexpectedly. If this happens, will the level of love you feel for yourself be influenced by that?

If you have enough courage to look inside through a magnifying lens and have nothing but love for whatever you may encounter there, you’ve won the lottery of life. You may readjust those flaws through patience, compassion, and self-care. When you turn those into strengths, nothing can stand between you and the level of love you feel for yourself.

The Essential Steps toward Self-Acceptance

The first step to accepting yourself is sitting in front of a mirror and looking at yourself. Remove distractions and shut down the inner critic. Look yourself in the eyes. Ask yourself who you truly are, and acknowledge your values. 

The second step is to fill yourself with gratitude. Show appreciation for how far you’ve come. Think of your accomplishments and your progress. Be grateful for the adversities you overcame.

The third step is self-care. It’s about a genuine interest in cultivating and maintaining inner peace. But also about showing your body the respect it deserves. Tend to yourself as you would to the person you most love because the relationship with yourself is the most powerful one you’ll ever have.

The Secret to Lasting Self-Love

Self-love can be expressed in various forms. But your mental peace is the most critical asset you want to look after. Taking care of your mind is what self-love is all about. And it’s, by far, one of the most overlooked aspects. We may invest more in sculpting our bodies, filling our wardrobes with expensive goods, or treating ourselves to lush meals or vacations - but all of these superficial things only offer momentary pleasure.

Being careful of what you allow into your mind and what you allow to stay in it, is a way to express kindness to yourself. If you make it a habit to let negative thoughts dwell in your mind, you will become too familiar with them and you won’t catch yourself when you get trapped in the negativity loop.

When you’re happy with yourself, you will send this message to everyone around you and empower them to tap into their authenticity. And you will also support them at a higher level.

Activating Your Biggest Superpower

You can’t pour from an empty cup. And when your cup is always full, you can give more to others without feeling like you’re depleting your reservoirs of inner power.

Self-love is a superpower that we all have inside us. Living by it is vital to a peaceful experience. Perhaps the most crucial question to ask yourself is: are you living a life that’s true to you?

My Relationship Bundle is designed to help you supercharge your relationship with yourself to enjoy healthy relationships with others. It’s composed of five audios that cover everything from becoming your biggest fan to getting rid of jealousy, getting over your ex, and igniting your romantic life. This bundle is the fastest way to achieve unconditional self-love.

Are you familiar with the feeling of unconditional self-love?

Do you believe that visualization can create exciting results in your life?

 

I’ve made it my life’s mission to make peace of mind and the ability to reach your potential available to everyone
- and that includes you!

 

Here’s to true freedom, happiness and health! - Jamie Clarke